My daughter helps me in keeping up with the best of the new stuff (she’s 17).

I’m so goddamn sick of shitty “hip hop” songs invading dance clubs.

I like a broad range of music, particularly old 70′s punk rock and electronica. Dance music sucks, sure, but the ridiculousness of some dance music is great. Take disco. Take some acid house circa 1992. It was fun to dance to. Even the crappy stuff about six years ago that hailed sixty remixes was acceptable at this point. A good steady repetitive beat with interesting sounds, even pop remixes were staples for years.

Hell, I even like hip hop and rap.

What a lot of dance clubs play isn’t really dance music, or music at all.

Playing music about thug life or “urbana” et al, isn’t the problem, it’s the unbridled bullshit like “bling” and other nonsensical waving around of fake money and lifestyle. At least gangsters that rapped about it sort of earned it in a dark way by shooting someone’s ass and writing about it. Not my style, but at least real. You still can’t really dance to it, with exceptions.

These dance club idiots that dance to the shit that’s dripping from the speakers that calls itself “hip hop,” have no idea what they’re doing. They’re listening to a jerk that was a bagger at a grocery store that either sucked the right dicks or walked into the right conversation, brought along a Casio keyboard and a local open mic night recorded for lyrics, with drunken nonsense mixed in for fun.

Here let me take a crack at it:

“Haaay monayyyy gimme dat honaaaay,”
“Wanna plaaaayyy at div-naaaay”
“Rollin wet wet taking thet thet”
“Makin cash I can get get.”
“Haaay ooo ugh hhaaay… bling blang ugh haaaay”

(Throws in irregular high-pitched fake twitch cymbals and random bass sine noise)

Yet they still dance to it.

Assholes.

Bring back shitty club music so I can bitch about that instead. At least I could dance to it and have fun.

KW